I once sat and watched a man who after seemingly waiting for someone finally decided to leave. He just got “disappointed” by a client. He raged out, “Disappointed”. Take a moment and imagine yourself in such a situation. The question I want to ask you is, do you think he was disappointed or not? You know such happenings occur daily in our lives.
Come to think of it, what is a disappointment? According to the Merriam Webster dictionary the verb Disappoint is “to make (someone) unhappy by not being as good as expected or by not doing something that was hoped for or expected”. I guess this is true; you have been made to understand so. Aiming to be happy and free your mind of various worries associated with such events, you need to consider a change of mind. The event is not the problem; the problem is what your mind tells you the problem is. And the mind has many ways of doing this. There are so many ways our societies have implanted into our minds things which seem to be the truth of the matter but are really the opposite.
Getting yourself to think of someone telling you that perhaps they cannot make it to an event is just an event and should be considered as such, nothing more nothing less! From the definition of disappoint above, the main idea is not meeting someone’s expectations where by they become unhappy after. A quick question would be, after his expectations weren’t met what did he think to himself? Perhaps “This client takes me for granted” or “He doesn’t have time for me, he sees me as trash”. Now tell me who disappointed who? Is it your mind just playing with you or this unfortunate event really deserves the attention you have given it. The addition your mind makes to the situation will determine your reaction which will either make it a disappointment or not.
The boil down fact is that these events happen day in day out but our minds dictate to us how we react to these which either makes them disappointments or not. We have been programmed by society to react negatively to such events. This is a much unfortunate occurrence which has detrimental consequences; inferiority complex, pessimism, depression among others. Just consider the case of our friend who I watched get “disappointed” what if he conceived the thought that his client had an emergency and couldn’t come to see him, something far more important instead or a better reason for his absence. Would that have changed the event? The mind dictates so many things to us from the thoughts and actions of others. The earlier we become conscious of this the better. Controlling our thoughts would be the only way out of a world full of conformists. The thought we accept will eventually become our actions. Watch your thoughts, they become your words. Watch your words, they become your actions.
Another anecdote here will do us good. I went shopping with my aunt while I was still in senior high. En route to a particular shop to purchase a pair of sneakers, something unfortunate which for no good reason I can’t really remember happened. What came out of my mouth immediately was “Wow”. Wow? With a chill of surprise she asked me. But to me It wasn’t a bother that much. I had brushed it off before it could get into my mind as one big problem